Bring Grief to a Noble End - A Heart Set Free Journal

“You’ve got to clear your office Chap. I’ve got somebody for you, and it can’t wait.” I had only just arrived and started meeting with one of the students in our year-long residential recovery program when this other student burst into my office with an emergency in the making. He had just been told by one of the homeless men who stayed in our overnight shelter that only moments before he nearly stepped in front of a speeding garbage truck in order to kill himself. His grief nearly killed him!

It is natural and normal to grieve, and grieving is a good thing. It shows that we really loved and cared for the one we have lost. But we have an enemy who won’t leave us alone even when we’re grieving over something he’s done to rob someone from us. (Jesus said it was the “thief” who comes to “kill, steal and destroy”—not our all-loving Father.)

Watch out for the contaminants the evil one loves to throw into grief’s otherwise crystalline waters. Things like anger at God, guilt and self-blame, fear for the future and self-pity really muck things up! Yet, even with the river of tears running clear, it can be hard to come to the end of them.

My Own Journey Was Tear-Filled!

I grieved so long and hard for my first wife, June, that the Lord stepped in to help me recover from it. After several months of non-stop tears, He showed up and told me “Both June and I believe that you have grieved enough and both of us want you to let Me heal you.” So, I said that if it was true that I had grieved enough, then I was willing to be healed.

Jesus then led me through a series of questions, but not quite as many as I will set before you now (He can do more with less words than we can). So, here are the questions and my responses expanded just a little bit for clarity:

Ten Questions that Lead to a Noble End

1) Where is June now? She is in heaven.

2) Is she happy? Yes, I’m sure she is filled with delight.

3) Does she regret anything about how she got here? No, she would only be glad that she arrived safely.

4) Does she regret that she died before her time? No, she would see You and trust You completely for everything about her passing.

5) Would she want you to have any regrets? No, she would not.

6) Would she want you to be happy? Yes, I’m sure she would.

7) Would she want you to let Me (the Lord) fill in the empty places she left behind in your life? Yes, she would.

8) Would she want Me to take even the evil of her untimely death and make it now work for good in your life? I’m sure she would—that would really give the devil the black eye he deserves for taking her down before her time. (applying Romans 8:28)

9) Then, do you really have any good reason for continuing to feel this sorrow? Especially since she no longer wants you to grieve—since I’ve told you that she says you’ve grieved enough.

10) With all that I had to agree that it was time to begin letting the grief go and letting June go. I will see her again. Until then, she wants me to be as accepting of our time of separation as she is—and as happy and joyful to be able to go on living with the Lord. She is living with Him in heaven and I am living with Him on earth.

The Other Side of Grief

I still pause and shed some tears for June and my second wife, Eunice, from time to time, but it is never for very long. It always ends with me being extremely grateful to the Lord that they are both in heaven and are both happy. This is also always followed by the renewed comfort of knowing I will see them again. I am moved–fairly quickly–though a moment of sorrow into a heightened state of joy. I feel even better than I had before the grief touched me!

After asking a few questions and explaining some things about the Lord, death and grief, we cleared the contaminant of guilt out of the river. That’s the piece that was killing him. Then, I led my new friend through most of these ten questions.

Within a half hour of entering my office, this man was set entirely free from the crushing burden of the grief that was hammering him. It never returned! That was a half year ago as of this writing. He still has brief moments of tears (as I do), but he is no longer being crushed by it and has a whole life restored to him. The grief has come to a noble end.

See if this simple series of questions can help your own heart mend. If it helps, use it to help others who are grieving.

For more about grieving well, see “Good Grief: the Unwanted Journey” at our website for healing, healingstreamsusa.org.